"It's not the critic who counts..."

“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.”

- Theodore Roosevelt

I love this quote. Love. I heard it several years ago, and Brene Brown has made it pretty popular in her book "Daring Greatly". I love it because it helps me to forgive and overlook it when others who don't understand addiction make criticisms or make "suggestions". I recently had a friend tell me about a family member's response to her new food choices, that she could have anything if she just ate it in moderation, and that all that was really to it was tracking what you ate.

These comments are so discouraging and disheartening to the food addict! We have thought our entire lives that we could be so different, and have such a better life, if only we could just get our eating under control. The problem is that addiction is about control, but addiction recovery is about surrender. To many outside of the arena, that appears to be a cop out, giving up, or a failure. It's none of those things....at least, not in my experience. 

The truth is that tracking my calories and carbs and sugar and everything else is what finally got me past Step 1--"We admitted we were powerless over food--that our lives had become unmanageable." Up to that point, I thought I had taken this step, but what I had really said was that I have a problem with food, and my life was hard to manage. This set me up to believe that it was still in my power to control my eating, that someone, somewhere had the answer in a book, blog, video, program, or some other silver bullet miracle cure. I just wanted someone to tell me the secret, just say, "Here, dummy, eat only these foods," and I'd be fixed. It was after falling on my face again after just two days of tracking that I finally admitted that I could not control this, and I needed help from On High if I were to recover. 

So here I am, over a year later, having learned so much about myself, and even more about God, surrounded by friends, family, and fellow recovering addicts who have been in my arena, in their own arenas, all fighting daily to become more of what God wants us all to be. I thank that God for giving me these individuals, and I think of them when I feel the sting of the comments from the peanut gallery. It's not the critic who counts.